She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
