If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
