I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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