But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
