He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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