I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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