Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
