oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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