my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
