Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize