Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
