I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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