1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Congratulations! We have a period
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
