if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
