no, he came in my armpit
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
