So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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