Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
