I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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