I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
