The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
