I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
