Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
