so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
