i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
