a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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