Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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