He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
