she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
