He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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