he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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