she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
