11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
