Already got asked if we're dating
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
