He had one of those small greek statue penises
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
