C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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