I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
