So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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