i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
