Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
