I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
