Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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