But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
