He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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