I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize