I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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