yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
