my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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