Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
