There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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