i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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