do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
