Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
