she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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