Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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