Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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