Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
