i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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