do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If I die, sorry about rent.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
