your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize