She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
