I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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