He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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