I hate your face
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
