Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
