New low: just hacked my moms facebook
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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