I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
