i just google imaged poop.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize