I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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