So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
